Kurt Hummel's Best Friend
by shinelikejustice
Summary: Dalton!verse  Etty sneaks into Windsor House with pure intentions, to watch over her best friend Kurt Hummel, only to be roped into the madness herself. OC-centred with sprinkles of Klaine.. you need to read CPCoulter's amazing 'Dalton' to understand.
1. The Most Stupid Thing I Have Ever Done

Hi, hello and welcome! This is my first ever shot at fanfiction so forgive me if it's a little meehhh.. trust me I know it is. But feedback is always great and I really appreciate constructive criticism.

Basically: set in Dalton!verse (a.k.a. based off the fanficiton Dalton by CPCoulter, if you haven't read it you neeeeed to), AU, a girl named Etty Poulter infiltrates Dalton to keep an eye on Kurt, whom she has known since they were in diapers together. Hilarity and hijinks at Windsor House ensue!

I do not own Glee, I do not own Dalton

* * *

My name is Etty Poulter and I'm Kurt Hummel's best friend. Yeah, that's right, I said it.

Look, I know what you're thinking. What about Mercedes and all that blah blah blah... Well, sorry to let you down sweetcheeks but nopedy nopedy no. _I _am and always will be the official best friend of Kurt Hummel. I have a signed document from when we were five to prove it. See, Kurt's dad is one of those rare men who work as a mechanic, total grease monkeys, yet manage not to be ridiculous, over-masculine asshats. Remarkable, I know. My dad, the owner of the garage where Burt worked, recognised that, thank god or we wouldn't be here, and struck up a friendship. They worked at that dingy garage together in Lima for years, our mothers became close too. And naturally they fell pregnant around the same time and we were born a few days apart from each other, isn't that always the way? So you see, Kurt and I were pretty much destined to be best friends. Not that we needed that. There was a crazy, frenetic chemistry between Kurt and me – not romantic, obviously – that simply removed awkward from our shared vocabulary. He was like the sister I'd never had and I was like the brother he'd never had. I was at his third birthday party, when he received _those_ 'sensible heels' he'd asked for and a few days later, I got the miniature tool kit I'd wanted. We swapped gender roles, we were allowed to pretend for those delicate, precious years of our early childhood, basking in the glow of naivety.

And then Kurt's mum passed when we were eight and we had to stop pretending. The days of aching bliss were finished, shadows pouring into our seemingly endless summer. Mum and Dad became angry, they shouted, they swore, Mum and I moved into a little flat to "give your father some space". I barely saw Kurt and his influence was sorely missed. I became rude and bitter, an eight-year-old teenager. And then, as quickly as it began, it was over. My parents got a neat little divorce, signing away their promises of 'until death do us part' on a couple of dotted lines. Dad wanted to stay in Ohio, Mum had different ideas as usual. She wanted to set up a restaurant in the Big Apple, but that being said she was so erratic in her ambitions, she wanted to do nearly everything. Even so, when she got custody, we packed up and left to New York.

So you think it's at this stage I tell you that I invited Kurt over to visit and he became a Broadway star. Or maybe that Mum won the lottery and suddenly we were rolling in cash. Well sorry, but no. Shit doesn't happen like that for me.

Life was hard those first few years in Brooklyn. Mum ran around the city, trying to find herself work. She'd never exactly had to find any before – she'd married young – so she wasn't quite qualified for anything too serious, or with too big of a pay check. But we scraped by on a waitress' income, put together with any cleaning jobs she could land. Meanwhile, I learned to cover up the brazenly masculine way I was. I wore lighter shades of colour, sometimes even the dreaded pink, and tried to plait my hair. It worked well enough and I was vaguely accepted into the social world of the third graders, even just to be shunted into the corner. I wasn't exactly cool, I spent most of my lunchtimes in the library, reading books that I probably shouldn't have been reading and mentally aging by leaps and bounds each day. The isolation hardened me to the world.

By the age of thirteen, I was pretty clued up, probably more so than the pre-pubescent boys at school who took it on themselves to ogle anything that looked vaguely like boobs. I'd also given up trying to escape the tomboy that I really was, it was too tiring to keep up such an image at an age where everything about you is being constantly questioned by children and adults alike. I ripped up my jeans, I wore leather jackets, I listened to The Ramones. There were still little pockets of showtunes and cheesy pop anthems on my iPod and the odd party dress in my wardrobe, leftovers of what had eaten me for years. But however much I didn't like to admit it, I kind of liked this girly side of me. It reminded me of a time when things were simpler and just the sight of sunshine on the garden could make a day the best of the week. In short, it reminded me of Kurt.

By this time, Mum had moved up too. She was now running a restaurant in a flashy part of the Upper West Side. We had moved out of our cramped flat and into a cool loft apartment, buying a range of sleek new furniture to go with it. I did the washing up some nights at the restaurant, there wasn't anything else for me to be doing, and for that I earned a little money to spend on my growing interest in mayhem. I had decided that I would never properly fit in at school, so why not make things as crazy as possible? I planted smoke bombs at the school dance, hovered buckets of paint over the prinicpal's door, swapped the SIM cards of the bratty popular girls' phones. I was addicted to the adrenaline rush of pulling pranks and not getting caught. That was why I operated solo, no-one ever suspects the shy loner girl, right? But still something was missing; there was always an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. Eventually, I realised it was Kurt. I hadn't talked to him for a good four or five years and I missed my best friend desperately. So I wrote him a letter, I wouldn't put it past Burt to move from the same house they'd lived in when I was three, and we swapped e-mail addresses and then MSNs and then added each other on Facebook and soon enough we got back to talking at least three times a week. Sometimes it was over the phone, sometimes just e-mailing or internet chat, but our friendship was definitely back and just as strong.

He told me everything, and I mean _everything. _I knew about Artie, poor guy in that wheelchair, and Rachel, she just seemed like a self-obsessed drama mama. I knew the ins and outs of the Finn Quinn Puck baby fiasco and that one time he'd tried to be straight with some endearingly dim girl named Brittany. I was the one who got him through Finn rejecting him, the one who listened to his gay theories about the new kid, Sam, the one who helped him accept that Finn's mum was dating his dad, and even marrying him, and the one who damn near caught the next plane to Lima when I heard about the Karofsky incident. But there was one thing that pushed me over the edge, one thing that I couldn't just leave be.

It was a lazy Friday afternoon after school, and traffic screamed with the evening rush from the streets below. I was roaming the internet, as per usual, trying to find anything to distract me from the 2000 word History essay due in a few days. I never went out on Friday nights, where would I go? With no friends in New York the world was pretty grey, so I lived much of my life online. I was checking my facebook quickly when _New message from Kurt Hummel! _popped up. I clicked open the window, I hadn't heard from Kurt in months.

_OMG NEWS! Can I call you? _

I grinned, I loved hearing updates from my boy in Lima.

_Go right ahead man :)_

Soon enough, my phone was buzzing beside me on my desk. I decided to tease him for a while, letting it ring a few time before I caved in from curiosity and picked up.

"Yelloha?" It was our signature greeting.

"Oh. My. God. Etty, you are _not _going to believe this." I could hear Kurt was excited, I could practically hear the smile on his face. What was getting him so happy? The last I heard, which had been a while ago, that douche Karofsky had given him a death threat but the school didn't expel him and there was some guy Blaine hovering around in the background. I needed an update, pronto.

"Dude, spill it!"

"So I'm sorry I haven't called you for like the past millennium," I rolled my eyes at this, it was kind of true. "But I've been settling into boarding school."

"Wait… what?"

"Elizabeth Poulter, you are officially talking to a Dalton Academy boy!" I flopped backwards onto my bed. When had this happened? How had he even found this school? And most importantly, how were Burt and Carole paying for this? Kurt knew me too well. "I know exactly what you're thinking right now. Who, what, when, where, how, why, right? Well after the Karofsky threats, Dad just said enough was enough and used his and Carole's honeymoon money on the extra fees."

"Their _honeymoon _money?" I asked, incredulously. "You're paying for your school fees with your father and step-mother's honeymoon money?"

"Please don't, Etty," Kurt's voice became tense, there was obviously an immense moral struggle there and I wasn't going to push it, "I hate myself for it, but I didn't feel safe at McKinley anymore."

"I know, I know, I'm just winding you up." I sighed, I felt so left out of his life. "So what are the guys in your dorm like?"

"Oh my god Ett, they're _fucking mental_!" I had never heard Kurt swear like that before and an embarrassing giggle left my lips. "Like there are these twins Evan and Ethan, right? They remind me of you so much, causing as much chaos as possible and then magically walking free every time, and they've given everyone Alice in Wonderland nicknames and I've been dubbed Alice and they had this ridiculous New Year's party in New York with all of us and sorry I didn't visit I was so busy and then there's Dwight, who is this crazy guy obsessed with magic and demons, and David, who is totally in love with his girlfriend Katherine who is so sick right now, and my roommate Reed, who is this adorable klutzy painter boy, and Han, who has pretty much bugged the entirety of the campus, and Wes, who is just _such _a stereotypical jock sometimes, except that's the thing!" Kurt heaved a huge breath; he needed one after that rant. "They're _not _jocks, they all sing instead. We sing in this group called The Warblers and it's so much fun and you audition for solos in front of everyone and I have been _freaking sung to _Etty!" I all out laughed at this. My little Kurt sounded like an excited toddler on Christmas day.

"And what about that Blaine guy you mentioned once?" For once, there was dead silence from the other end of the phone. "… Kurt?"

"Um, we're dating."

And that was when I decided. I didn't even know I decided it then, it was completely subconscious. I heard his tone of voice. That raw, fragile, simply emotional tone that always lingered in his voice whenever he talked about someone he loved. I heard it when he talked about Burt, his mother, sometimes even me, and now this new guy, Blaine. So in that moment I knew what I had to do. I had to protect Kurt. My Kurt. My brother, my sister, my best friend. He couldn't be hurt, he was too delicate, it would shatter him. He couldn't date someone after what happened with Karofsky, he needed time, he just didn't know he needed time. And I couldn't let this happen! He was practically family and I was just sitting around and letting him have his heart broken by some stupid choir boy? _But what if he really wants this?_ a little voice questioned in my head. It didn't matter, I still needed to keep an eye on him, to know what was going on at all times.

Maybe it was that dumb Friday night feeling, maybe it was just because I was through being so utterly bored with my life, but whatever it was, after I said my goodbyes to Kurt, it made me grab my suitcase and start packing for the greatest prank I would ever pull. I was going to go to Dalton.

I threw in everything boyish from my wardrobe that I kept for out of school hours. They were fashionably boyish, that was my style, and so was my haircut. This was going to work, I was sure of it. I continued flinging in clothes, my mind racing at a hundred thoughts a minute. I would write Mum a note, she was always out anyway, telling her I'd gone to visit Dad, that I needed some time to think about my life and that I'd let the school know I wouldn't be returning. We'd been having some arguments recently so this was kind of logical even though I'd last visited my father when I was eleven, more than five years ago now. But still, my mum knew how emotionally turbulent I could be, just as she was. She poured her heart and soul into the restaurant, barely seeing me most of the time. She knew that I didn't fit in at school, that I was having troubles with my identity, I just prayed that she understood this whole 'leaving' thing to be about that.

I called the school, easily using my mother's airy voice to fool the lady at administrations into thinking that we were moving back to Ohio and therefore I would no longer be attending class there. This was proving to be way too easy. Of course, that feeling died away when I pondered the challenge of actually getting _into _Dalton in the first place.

And then…

Hadn't my grandfather gone to Dalton? I seemed to recall times when he'd spoken of the times he'd had at boarding school in Westerville. Were there really any other boarding schools in Westerville? I googled 'James Poulter Dalton' and my eyes widened at the results.

"No freaking way," I whispered to myself, my voice harsh in the quiet room. The results were all from the Dalton website, page after page of them, and they all involved the James Poulter Library. I clicked on one of the pages to find that my grandfather had been a model student at Dalton and the Head Prefect of the Windsor boarding house, growing up to take over his father's chain of garages. He felt so strongly connected to Dalton that he had donated the library with much of the money he had made from the business. Oh my god, I was _so in_ right now. I grinned maniacally at the screen, this was my ticket in to that place.

* * *

I stepped out of the taxi and into the bright winter afternoon, turning around to thank the driver and pay him. No tip of course, money was going to be crazy tight if I didn't have the shifts at the restaurant to support me. I still had my bank account, but I was just going to have to make do without any new clothes for a while. Lifting my bags out of the trunk, I thumped them onto the ground. A bit heavier than I was expecting then, but I couldn't look weak in front of any of the guys. Guys were strong and manly and they carried things and didn't get dragged to the ground by a bit of a heavy suitcase, right?. I took a deep breath in, which was hard given the binding tape crushing my boobs. _Come on, Etty you can do this._

I looked to the sprawling building in front of me. This had to be Windsor House, the breathtaking medieval-style architecture, complete with turrets and stained-glass windows, told me that. I smiled, so far the mission was going to plan. I began walking along the path to the house, wheeling my bag behind me. There were two other houses in the distance which I presumed to be Stuart and Hanover. Suddenly, I started panicking. The school was so big, the opportunity to mess up was enormous. I silenced this internal monologue and kept up the deep breathing. _Ok, come on girl, let's do this. _I put my hand on the ornate doorhandle, hesitating for one jarring instant as I doubted myself momentarily, before pushing with all my might and stepping onto the marble floor of the decadent foyer.

The door slammed behind me and I winced a little, not exactly how I planned to make my entrance. The foyer was colossal, almost ridiculously so, with two curved staircases on each wall joining at a balcony in the centre. A chandelier hung majestically from the roof and tall, comfortable-looking chairs were placed in clumps around a fire place just beyond the main entrance area. A few boys gathered in a group on the balcony turned around to look at me, not angrily, simply out of curiosity. Two of them, heart-meltingly gorgeous blonde twins, began to smile in an almost creepy Cheshire Cat fashion, their eyes practically flashing their excitement at the prospect of new meat. And who should step out from behind them but Mr Kurt Hummel himself.

_Shit_.


	2. The Descent Into Warblerland

So hello! Here is Chapter 2 'The Descent Into Warblerland'. Thank you for reading and putting me on your alert lists, that's quite lovely of you. I spent quite a bit of time on this so enjoy! Leave me reviews? I'll probably keep writing out of sheer boredom but still, I'd like to know if you like what I'm writing, if you don't, if you think I'm crazy etc etc :)

I don't own Dalton (the beautifully incredible CPCoulter does) and I definitely don't own Glee (because if I did, the whole thing would be about The Warblers and stuff at McKinley would be like a little backstory)

#warblerbrosforever

* * *

I looked directly into Kurt's eyes as he frowned and titled his head. I could practically see the cogs working in his brain, trying to piece together the puzzle that was the familiarity of my face. It was one of those awful frozen moments where walking feels like wading through treacle. _For the love of God, Kurt be dumb right now. Or at least play dumb, _I screamed at him in my head. I glanced away, my heart beating fast and sweat already starting to seep from my palms. When I get nervous, I get nervous damn quickly. I hadn't exactly planned whether and how I was going to tell Kurt that this 'Luke' character was actually me. If I was going to, then when? How? Casually drop it in to conversation? _Oh and by the way Kurt, I'm actually Etty, your best friend from birth, posing as a boy because I'm hella protective of you and I can't see you just let yourself get hurt without me there to pick up the pieces. _Yeah, that probably wasn't going to go down well. Maybe just slip him hints and let him figure it out for himself…

I was distracted by the blonde twins standing right in front of me with their wide, slightly menacing grins and ice blue eyes boring a hole into my face. One of them looked at me with a more concentrated gaze than the other, and I stared back. I was lost for words at his sheer loveliness, irritatingly feminine feelings rushing through my bloodstream and to my knees. The pair of them said nothing, simply looking me up and down for a few moments and I began to glance around awkwardly. Was this some kind of boys' boarding school ritual I didn't know about?

"So you're Alice's sister then?" They spoke simultaneously and I began shaking my head.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I understand…" Who were these nutters?

"Alice's sister." They only repeated the words, needling their icy blue eyes into mine. And then I remembered something, my stomach dropping. Kurt had mentioned that there were twins, Evan and Ethan, who called him Alice. So by them calling me Alice's sister… Did they know? Had they figured me out that easily? What had given me away? I tried to form words but my mouth felt as if it was full of sand. What had I gotten myself into? The only thing that came out of my mouth was a strangled sputter as I tried to think of something logical to say that wouldn't sound weird. I was so lost right now.

"Evan, Ethan," a smooth voice glided in from behind the tall blondes, "I don't think you should be creeping out the new guy just yet." The beautiful twins' smiles just grew wider and they stepped apart to reveal a short, quite stockily built boy with rich brown curls straining against the hair gel that held them in place. He was _gorgeous, _smiling at me apologetically and gesturing to the boys, rolling his eyes. "I'm sorry, they get a little excited over newcomers, you know?" I just nodded dumbly. What were they _feeding _the boys in this place? "Of course, it was the worst when Kurt arrived," the boy chuckled as Kurt bounded over, slinging an arm around his waist. Woah woah _woah. _Ok, that was definitely a little somethin' somethin' right there.

Then it hit me. This man-god was Blaine. Of course! Things aligned in my head and I smiled hazily, everything was starting to make a little more sense. Kurt was glaring at me with narrowed eyes, seemingly sizing me up. He'd probably seen me checking out his boyfriend a moment ago and thought I was competition… how awkward. After a moment of silence, he shook his head a little as if remembering something and extended out a hand.

"Sorry," he gave a sheepish half-smile, "I haven't even introduced myself. I'm Kurt Hummel."

I resisted the urge to say _I know, _opting for a nod and a short handshake instead, and looked to the other boys to introduce themselves.

"Blaine," the shorter boy, bowed his head a little. Jesus, he was just so goddamn… _dapper._

"He's Ethan," one twin pointed to the other.

"And he's Evan," the other twin pointed right back. I laughed good-naturedly and rolled my eyes, before fixing a stare on the one I'd been eying up before. At least, I _thought _it was that one. He sensed my eyes on him and gazed back at me. We had a wordless conversation for a second and he raised his eyebrows. I realised they were waiting for me to introduce myself.

"Uh, right, hey," I stammered, "I'm Etty." _Shit, automatic response._ The confused looks told me I'd already made a mistake. "Well, I mean, my name is Luke Poulter but my middle name is Etienne so yeah, I guess everyone's always called me Etty." Oh totally great cover-up there, doofus. The middle name gag? Probably the oldest trick in the book. Even so, the boys nodded and explained that there were quite a few Dalton boys who used their middle names as nicknames. Sweet. I felt the eyes of that one twin, Ethan, on me again. He was _so_ on to me.

"Anyway," Blaine stepped forward to grab my bag, "I'll show you to your room. Since you're a mid-year transfer, you've got a single." I sighed internally in relief. I hadn't even thought of that possible catastrophe. I had a gut-twisting feeling that there were going to be quite a few things I hadn't thought about and would have to face when they met me. Kurt, Blaine, the twins and I started up the stairs, apparently I had a bit of a welcome party coming with me.

"So why the transfer, sister of Alice?" Evan, I was pretty sure, chimed as his brother nodded fervently for me to answer.

"Some people at my school were getting me down," I shrugged, it was part of the truth, "and I heard you guys have a really close community here."

"That we do," smirked Kurt, sharing a look with Blaine that raised some sort of protective mother instinct within me. I remembered why I was really here, to make sure Kurt didn't get hurt. They looked so fiercely intimate together, this was much heavier than some schoolboy crush, this was something I didn't even know. I'd never seen something like that before, that pure, intense look of… love, I guess? I wasn't exactly the authority figure on the matter of relationships given I'd never been in any. Boys didn't touch me with a ten foot pole, girls even less so. I was constantly being called a 'dyke' and a 'lezbo' in New York. All it had done was thicken my skin and not much more. At least, I tried to keep it that way. I wasn't even sure if I was gay or straight or whatever. I'd heard about pansexuality, the idea of being attracted to someone regardless of their gender, and the concept definitely appealed to me more than anything else. It was certainly a lot more appealing that this business of sexuality being a simple black-and-white matter.

I was pulled from my wandering thoughts by Blaine pushing on the door at the very end of the hall, holding it open for me and the rest of the motley crew. I gazed around at my new home and tried to smile. It was… really… well, musty. Sheets covered everything and over them was a fine film of dust, a shock of a contrast to the manicured common room.

"I'm sorry about the state of things," I turned around to see Blaine's apologetic grimace, "We keep this room free, with furniture and all, for any emergency transfers. Like yours, I guess."

"It's totally sweet," I gushed, before realising how feminine that must have sounded. I cleared my throat a little, "I mean – uh – yeah thanks… dude." That 'dude' was such an afterthought. What was I doing? Addressing people as dude? Really, Etty? Come on, now. I lowered my tone a few octaves, "So… I guess I'll just unpack now." The boys nodded, swapping surreptitious glances with each other as they exited. This was going to take some practice.

I breathed a long sigh of relief as soon as the door closed. The bindings on my chest were starting to become ridiculously uncomfortable. I raced to the bathroom and undid the clip that was holding the front together, taking in a glorious gulp of air as I did so. Bad idea. A little dust from the bedroom caught in my windpipe and I choked momentarily, before recovering myself. This room _really _needed some work. I made for the windows and flung them open, letting in the chilled nearly-spring afternoon air. Rummaging through the cupboards, I found a vacuum, thank god, on a top shelf and set about flinging the sheets off everything and sending the rickety machine to suck up the grime that lay around the room. I hummed while I vacuumed, stupid girly songs that would have given me away if not for the racket of my cleaning spree. I sang 'Sexy Silk' by Jessie J, complete with dorky 50s dance moves and dramatic trills on the high notes, and skipped my way around the room. Before not too long, I found that, once clean, the dorm did have a kind of old-worldly charm to it. The four-poster bed at one end was a little creaky but still had a good bounce-to-ceiling-height ratio and the wardrobe had a secret compartment, which unfortunately wasn't Narnia but could still hold all of my girly stuff that I had with me.

I went to the bathroom and re-attached the clip for the bandages on my chest. They bullied my lungs and I closed my eyes for a second as I did up my shirt buttons. _Big breath in, hold, and release._

I opened them again and walked out of my bathroom to see Kurt standing in front of me.

"Oh!" I started a bit, "Kurt. Hey." He smiled and looked me up and down, tilting his head on the side a bit.

"You look so familiar," he took a step toward me and I recoiled slightly.

"You think so?" I giggled nervously, my voice alarmingly high. Shit shit shit. This was _so _not good.

"Was that you I heard singing before?" I relaxed a little, it was only about singing.

"Uh – yeah, sorry, I know I'm terrible, I should be considerate of my neighbours and everything."

"No no," He held up a pale, manicured finger as if to silence me, "you were really good." I snorted. I flashed back momentarily to a pint-sized 7-year-old Kurt telling me I was a rubbish singer. Maybe my voice had somehow gotten better over the nine year span since that memory? I doubted it, but I looked into his eyes for signs that he was lying. Nothing. Hm. "You should try out for the Warblers!"

"The what now?"

"The Warblers." He raised his eyebrows at me as if I was a remedial kid before continuing. "We're the vocal group here at Dalton. Auditions are pretty tough but I'm sure you'd get in, and despite what people think, I'm getting a little tired of being the only countertenor."

"Well I'll think about it…" I trailed off. I hadn't really thought about _doing _anything while I was here, looking over Kurt had been propriety numero uno, my own interests had got tangled down the bottom of the list somewhere. I supposed I _would _like to sing, it was always a bit of a laugh and it would allow me to keep an eye on Kurt during practice.

I was startled by a sudden knock at the door.

"Hey new kid!" The twins chimed, bounding into my room, "We heard you bouncing on your bed and wanted to join because Charlie got the springs removed out of ours after we concussed ourselves on the ceiling and also do you bake like Alice bakes because his cookies are magical and we were wondering if you're going to join the Warblers because we all just heard you singing even though you thought we didn't." Kurt and I simply stared at the blonde clones.

"Ok so," I began, "firstly, yes you may jump on my bed, it's got a pretty good bounce to it. Secondly, please do not concuss yourself on my ceiling. Thirdly, I don't bake, I do savoury things like stir-fries and that stuff. Fourthly, yeah maybe I'll join the Waddlers, is that it? Wobblers? Whatever you guys call yourselves." I took a big breath in, "And lastly, how did you manage to say that all at the same time, do you practise or something?" There was a laugh from Blaine as he too, walked in the door. Was there some kind of Windsor tradition where you invaded each other's personal space? What was this?

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it," he smiled, snaking an arm around Kurt's waist. The two looked at each other, smiling dopily, as three more boys trooped in.

"Oh don't tell me you're drooling over each other in front on the new kid already?" One of the newcomers spoke, he was Asian and well built, with a wide, mischievous smile.

"Didn't we tell you to get a room already?" This came from a taller boy with rich dark skin, who then reached over and fist-pounded the first boy. "I'm David, by the way," he flashed a grin in my direction, "and this is Wes," he pointed to the Asian guy, "and Reed."

This third boy, Reed, had been dormant until now but stirred into life, his strawberry blonde curls dancing adorably around his head. He began to walk over to me, neglecting to notice the bundle of white sheets from the furniture lying on the floor in front of him. In a surreal, slow-motion moment, his feet tangled in the fabric and his eyes widened a little as he fell to the floor.

"REED!" I flinched a little as everyone yelled playfully at the fragile boy lying on the ground. Kurt rushed over to give him help in getting up.

"Reed, you have to look where you're going, ok?" He laughed and helped Reed dust off his designer cardigan. Was that the new season Kitsune?

"Shit, I'm so sorry I shouldn't have left those there," I ran forward and collected the sheets, stuffing them into the corner of the room next to the wardrobe. "I'm Luke by the way, but please call me Etty." There, that was much a much smoother introduction.

I motioned for everyone to sit down in some sort of circle in the main area of the room and they obeyed me without question. Kurt slid to lie between Blaine's legs, his head leaning into the older boy's shoulder, while Reed slowly lowered himself to the ground, checking it about five times for any possibly hazardous objects. Conversation flowed easily, with the twins providing meaningless crazy babble and Wes providing ridiculously inappropriate jokes.

"So what made you transfer?" David asked with a lazy quirk of his eyebrow.

"I don't know, I was bored," I shrugged, "And New York was starting to kill me." At this, the dorm seemed to quieten a little.

"New York?" The twins beamed at me, devilish thoughts dancing behind their oh-so-angelic eyes. I nodded, frowning a little. Where was the punchline in this?

"Did you happen to hear about some mammoth New Year's party?"

I considered the question for a moment, "Yeah I did actually, through rumours. Something about a whole bunch of high-profile kids at an apartment in the Upper East, everything getting a bit out of control..?"

The room of guys burst into giggles that would put a five-year-old girl to shame. I bit my lip, completely lost in the conversation.

"Etty," Blaine took a break from laughing for a second, "you see, that was us." I joined in the laughter, understanding. That was _them_? These boys were definitely meeting my quota of crazy for the year.

We were broken from the moment by yet another knock on the door.

"And what's the bet that's Dwight?" The group of them rolled their eyes.

"Just like clockwork," Kurt sighed.

The door creaked open in an eerily sinister fashion, revealing a tall, dark-haired, awkward-looking boy. His eyes scanned the room warily and I noticed a plastic water gun tucked into his waistband. As his eyes came around to be fixed on mine, he blanched, his skin turning frighteningly paler than it already was.

"What is it Dwight?" Reed asked, his eyes adorably round and his mouth a little open.

"There's a dark presence…" he trailed off, as if to add dramatic emphasis to his next words, "And it's coming from _in this room_." I looked around the room to try and gauge what type of reaction was appropriate. Everyone's face bore the look of 'Really Dwight? _Really_?' that I knew I was going to become very familiar with. As his glare locked with mine, he raised a skinny finger to my face.

"_You._"

"Oh yeah," David sat up a little, "Dwight this is Etty. Etty, Dwight." I raised a hand in a sort of awkward greeting but he only held his gaze constant.

"You are the source of malignancy in this room, nay, in this _house._ You are a foreign creature." I froze at this, he wasn't that far off the mark. I hoped no-one else noticed the stiffness.

"Uh Dwight?" Kurt raised his arm as if to ask a question in class, "I think I've heard you say that more times than Lindsay Lohan's been to rehab. Etty's new, and he's definitely not evil, ok?" There was light chuckling in the room and Ethan looked up to catch my eye, raising a platinum eyebrow.

My smile dropped.

He was so onto me.

* * *

So thank you for reading! Please tell me what you think through reviews or whatever you'd like. Again, I owe all of this to CP Coulter and Ryan Murphy.. if it weren't for them, imagine what type of world we'd be living in. Oh man. Also: join this group .?sk=group_183657338343431&ap=1

#warblerbrosforever


	3. The Arrival of Trouble

Hey hey hey! So I'm back with more :) I hope you're enjoying this drivel and if you're not, please tell me what I need to improve. I love constructive criticism, helps me bring my writing up to the standard which it is really not at..

I might write some little Klaine drabbles inspired by music or something like that as well, on the side. I don't know, I get really bored ok. This one took a bit of a while, sorry for the wait! There's quite a lot of silliness (and AVPM references) so I hope you get a giggle out of it if nothing else.

SONG USED: Always Where I Need To Be (acoustic) by The Kooks (.com/watch?v=uRSX3I_ezSU)

I do not own Glee, I do not own Dalton (but holy hell, CP you are a goddess and I seriously cannot wait for this original book to come out)

Review and tell me what you think? It would be appreciated! Love for those who have reviewed already, you're the tops :)

* * *

I waited for night to fall before I made my move. It had taken a matter of hours for all the boys to leave my room. We had talked about everything and nothing for hours, the boys giving me a bit of a rundown on what school was going to be like and everyone's 'Alice in Wonderland' persona. It was only when Dwight had dropped the name 'Murdoch' in relation to 'that huge paper due tomorrow' that they shuffled out, groaning loudly. The boys from this crazy dorm were already growing on me.

I glanced out of my window, shrugging on jeans and a baggy jumper that would hide my form somewhat. The grounds were beautiful bathed in the moonlight, a smooth white glow gliding over the lawns and those notorious prize-winning gardens. It seemed the whole school was suspended in a sort of ethereal haze.

Creeping out of my dorm, I prayed to sweet Rowling that I wouldn't be too loud. The floorboards were not helping. A few creaks later, I was out of Windsor, shutting the oak double doors quietly behind me.

The air was cool and gentle on my face. It felt good to breath for a moment, to enjoy the freedom that this time afforded me. I raised my eyes to the stars and the glorious moon as I walked around the back of Windsor and into the gardens. I skipped, giggling like a little girl, until I found a small collection of trees that could conceal me.

Sitting down, I pulled out my deck and slipped out a cigarette. It was a terrible addiction, I knew that, but it didn't stop me. My mother had been cool with it when I started, I was about 14, and I'd never thought to stop. I loved it and I hated it. The slick mask of calm that streamed through my body as soon as I took a drag. The taste, that deliciously horrible, warm bitter taste, that was so irreplaceable. The curls of rich, beautiful smoke wafting into the air.

It was lovely to have some time just for myself, away from the world. I felt like a nomad, caught in a dangerous balancing act. I'd left New York behind but I didn't quite fit into Windsor yet.

_Maybe it's because you're a fucking girl, doofus, _a voice at the back of my brain yelled. I rolled my eyes at my inner monologue. Yeah, that would be it.

Suddenly there was a rustle from somewhere else in the garden, somewhere way too close for comfort. Shit, I was so busted.

I pulled the cigarette behind my back, silently cursing my naivety. There were probably cameras everywhere. High tech ones with laser beams. And beefy security guards. With dogs. Oh my god I bet they had those huge bear-dogs who look like they eat babies for breakfast and –

Kurt's head poked out from behind the tree, smiling.

"Hey Etty," he said, plopping down to sit next to me.

"Kurt," I sighed in relief, raising a free hand to feel my racing pulse, "You can _never _do that again. I almost died right there." He laughed and pointed to my cigarette.

"Dirty habit, you know." I laughed a bit, nodding my agreement, as he raised an eyebrow reprovingly. "So what exactly are you doing out here at…" he raised his navy dressing gown up his arm to reveal a dainty gold watch, "12:17am?"

"Well," I glanced at him, taking in a drag of smoke and releasing it, "I needed a stress-reliever."

"Don't worry," he grinned lazily, "I know how you feel. Us Windsors are a bit intense." At that I let out a chuckle.

"You sure are."

A comfortable silence dropped between us as I had another draw of the cigarette. He seemed to ponder something for a moment before turning to me.

"You're exactly who I think you are, aren't you?"

I froze, dropping my finished smoke into the cold undergrowth.

"I don't know what you mean," I tried to recover.

"Yes you do."

"Really?"

"Etty," he narrowed his eyes at me, "I've known you since I was born. You really think I could forget you?"

At that my eyes misted over embarrassingly. Kurt, my Kurt, remembered me. I turned and pulled him into the tightest hug I have ever given anyone in my life. The sobs fell from my chest with more force than I thought possible.

"Kurt," I cried, "I know I should have told you, I'm just so lost in my life. I don't know where I'm going and I don't know why everything is so hard and I don't see Mum and I haven't seen Dad for years and I need you and…" The words trailed off into unintelligibility as Kurt rubbed my back, soothing me.

He pulled away, and I saw his eyes too were shiny with tears. We smiled at each other, taking deep breaths to calm ourselves. There was so much to say, it was hard to express about 9 years' worth of feelings in one go.

"I knew it was you," he nodded, his voice cracking a little, "But I was so scared of what would happen if it wasn't you. I've really needed you too Ett." He took a deep, shaking breath in, a solitary tear rolling from the corner of his eye. "I've been hated for who I am, chased out of school, thrown in with the Windsor kids who, may I add, are completely crazy but amazing, and now I know everything in the universe is just going to be ok because you're here."

I couldn't do anything but grin at him, my cheeks starting to ache with the effort, and launch myself forward to hug him again. We stayed like that for a moment before pulling back and looking at each other.

"So," I giggled.

"So," he beamed at me through his tears.

"You and Blaine," I began as Kurt rolled his eyes, "I do _not _care if you have told the story a thousand times, you will tell me right now what the sweet hell is going on there."

"Well," he took a short breath, "I'm in love with him and I'm pretty sure he loves me back."

"Kurt!" I gasped. "I'm so happy for you! That's just – that's really really great. How long for?"

"The _official _standing is nearly a month now, but it's been intense."

"I can imagine, I mean the way he looks at you is just… wow. You deserve it, Kurt."

We both smiled and it was like we saw each other yesterday. There was a lot more to say, a lot more to ask and tell, but we both seemed to recognise that it was time to return to the dorms. I went to stand up and turned around to offer him a hand, he took it. Five years old again, we skipped back to the house in a glazed state of happiness.

* * *

"Etty?"

The voice was muffled, as if far away or underwater. Or maybe it was the fact that my head was buried underneath my thick pillow.

"Etty!"

A different, higher voice yelled, getting a little shrill. Someone snapped impatient fingers near my head.

"Etty, if you don't wake up now, you're going to be late on your first day." It was the first voice again, soft and a little hesitant. Reed, most likely. A door opened and two sets of footsteps came closer to the bed.

"Here, let us handle this," two overly-bright voices chimed in unison. Oh no.

Cold hands gripped around my ankles and suddenly, I was being quite literally dragged out of bed. The bed sheets curled awkwardly around my legs and I ended up as a tangled heap on the floor, my hair like a cropped lion's mane around my head.

"Ok guys, I think I'm awake now," I said, opening my eyes to see the assortment of boys standing in my room. Wes, David, Reed, Evan, Ethan, Dwight and Kurt all stood around, suppressing great shakes of laughter with their hands. "Oh go ahead, laugh at my misfortune then!" I threw up my hands and the room dissolved into boyish snickers.

"You guys, you're going to be late if you –" Blaine's shout rang in the hallway but he cut off as he entered the room, eying first the laughing crowd of guys I had attracted and then me, in my blanketed bundle on the floor. There was a silence as he decided exactly what to say.

"What did I say about _not _scaring the new kid?" A fresh round of giggles broke out and group began to leave, with waves and calls of 'see you in class, Etty!' Blaine looked down at me from where he was standing and offered a hand.

I took it gratefully and was hauled to my feet, the blanket wrapped around my shoulders like a cape. He handed me a pile of folded clothes he'd had tucked under his arm.

"Here's your uniform. You should get ready, your timetable and schoolbooks are downstairs." After a small nod, he exited, probably going to find Kurt.

Time to bind myself up again for my first day then.

* * *

There were precious few moments between classes and by lunch time I could barely take it anymore. I found an empty hall in South and Main and slumped down against the wall. Frankie Valli was totally right; silence _is _golden and for a good amount of time I sat, undisturbed by the bustling world of Dalton Academy that awaited me behind the hall doors.

I wasn't stupid, definitely not, but the workload was just ridiculous. It felt like each teacher had dumped me with as much work as possible to see how long I could last, some sort of sick game.

"What have I got myself into?" I questioned the silence, perhaps a bit too loudly.

The stillness that lingered afterwards was cracked by the vibrate of my phone with a text.

_E, where are you? Saved you a seat at the table – K x_

I gave a quick reply.

_Sure sorry be there soon x_

Sighing, I gathered myself up and made to leave the hall. As soon as I opened the double oak doors, a pair of expectant-looking Tweedles grabbed my arms and began frogmarching me to the dining hall.

"Evan, Ethan!" I squealed, trying to control the highness of my voice, "What are you doing? Dude, let me go!"

"Want to explain what all that was about?" One of them shot, eyes a little cold.

"Yes, what exactly have you gotten yourself into?" The other, Ethan I was sure, asked, warmer, with a smile starting on his lips.

"And why would it require collapsing in a choir room?" They chorused simultaneously, pushing me into the cafeteria.

"No time to explain!" I threw up my hands as Kurt waved to me from his spot. Those twins knew a whole lot more than what they let on. I all but ran to where the assortment of Windsor boys sat, lapping up their free time.

"Hey Ett!" Kurt scooted aside to make more room for me, I took the spot gratefully. "Woah, what's up? You look totally paled out!"

I tried to laugh but the sound died in my throat.

"Bad case of Murdoch-it is?" Reed chirruped, in between small nibbles of his apple.

"Tell me about it!" Rolling my eyes, I slumped back into the seat, "How in holy hell do you do all this work? Please enlighten me!"

There was a collective head nod as each Windsor boy gave me looks of sympathy. I could tell they knew all too well the stresses of the prestigious school. It felt good not to be alone.

"Hey Etty," David looked up from across the table, fingers finishing off a quick text, "just a question. You sing, don't you?" At that, the entire group was paying their full attention, waiting for my answer.

"Uhhh…" I grasped around for an answer. Did I sing? I mean I sang as a girl in the lower _lower _register, but would that translate to an ok guy's voice? Oh whatever. "Yeah, I suppose I do."

"Do you reckon- ?"

"We would have to- "

"Would Harvey go for it at this time of the year?"

"Well Medel would, at least."

"Hold up there, guys," Blaine raised a hand, the one that wasn't interlaced with Kurt's, "We haven't even asked Etty if he'd like to audition for the Warblers. Etty?"

That damned group mentioned again. Who were these mysterious Warblers? Rockstars or something?

"Well yeah sure, why not?" A mini cheer went up.

"So what will you sing?" Wes quirked an eyebrow. Was that a challenge?

"Not Alone by Darren Criss," I blurted. It was the first song by a guy that came into my head.

A sly look passed between the twins.

"Favourite snack on three. One, two, three…"

"RED VINES!" shouted the crowd of Windsors. Other tables turned around to wonder at the hubbub and we all dissolved into giggles.

"Oh man, I love Starkid," smiled Blaine and I nodded avidly.

"I can't believe you guys know them!"

I had a good feeling that I was going to get along with these guys just fine.

* * *

Big breath in, big breath out. It was just an audition, after all, and I knew I could find other ways of keeping an eye on Kurt that didn't involve me watching him be serenaded by that handsome-as-fuck dapper boyfriend of his.

"Nice to meet you Luke, I'm Ms Medel," the well-dressed woman in front of me extended a hand to shake.

"Etty," I said, smiling, "Please call me Etty."

"Of course, of course," she nodded, compliant.

"I'm Mr Harvey," the man too shook my hand in a quick greeting, "I understand you want to try out for the Warblers today?"

"Yes, yes I do."

"Well the boys are in the hall, so if you'd follow us…" the two began to walk away, expecting me to follow, but my legs were rooted to the spot.

"P-p-pardon me?" Ms Medel glanced at me over her shoulder questioningly.

"You have to audition in front of the other boys, of course, so come along now." Holy shit. Was it possible for a person to self-combust? Sure, I was confident with singing, but in front of a crowd of boys I'd barely known for 24 hours? Not fun.

My legs kicked into gear before my brain could compute and before I knew it, I was standing in front of the boys in question, a nervous grimace plastered on my face.

"Uh – hi, um," there was scattered snickering, stopped abruptly by Kurt's intense death stare. "My name is Etty and I'm going to sing Always Where I Need to Be by The Kooks." I had decided against the Darren Criss option, perhaps a little too intense for just an audition. Keep it light.

I picked up the acoustic guitar resting behind me on the raised platform. Blaine, Kurt, Reed, Wes and David shot me looks of encouragement and the twins beamed widely, Ethan flicked a wink. Deep breath in. Let's do this.

_She don't know who she is_

_Oh, I could take her anywhere_

_Do whatever comes naturally to you_

_You know she just don't care_

_You know she just don't care_

Looks of slight shocked registered on the boys' faces. Was I good? Was I bad? I tried to brush it off and continued to sing, swaying to the rhythm of my strums on the guitar.

'_Cause I am always where I need to be_

_And I always thought_

_I would end up with you eventually_

I let my eyes linger on Ethan's for a little longer than intended. There was something between us, something weird and fragile and foreign that I'd never felt with anyone else. And I certainly didn't feel it for his brother so it couldn't be purely physical. Why did I have to be dressed as a damned boy? _I'M A GIRL! _I screamed at him internally. I had nothing against the idea of him being attracted to me as a boy, but in the intensely small chance that he _was _attracted to me, I would have to tell him about my gender some time or other. And how would that go down? Not too well, probably. It would be a sticky situation to say the least. At the solo, I tried my best, sliding my fingers up and down the neck of the guitar, much to the delight of my audience, which was swaying along with me.

_I'm a man, I'm a man_

_I'm a man on the scene_

_I'm a man and I can be so obscene_

_Because I always think that I know how to be_

_But I always thought I would end up with you eventually_

It struck me, as I finished the song with a flourish, how poorly I had chosen. 'I'm a man, I'm a man'? Really now? The Warblers, however, seemed to enjoy it, with a heavy round of clapping and some ridiculous cheering from the Windsor boys. Safe to say they liked it then.

"Thank you, Etty," Mr Harvey chimed from the back of the hall as Ms Medel shushed everyone to silence, "We'd love to have you as a Warbler."

A goofy grin found its way on to my face and suddenly, blazers were being pelted on top of me. For the second time that day, I lay in a crumpled mess on the floor, giggling. My arms flailed around, trying to find a way to recover myself from the situation. My hand met another warm one, wrapping around my own and pulling me up, through the cloud of jackets. It was Ethan and we stood for a moment, smiling.

"I liked your song, sister of Alice."

"Thanks," I nodded, more to myself than anyone else. I just couldn't look him in the eye, my stupid racing hormones would be too obvious.

"But I don't believe you." At that my head snapped up.

"Wait, what?"

"A man? I think not." And with that, he retrieved his blazer from the pile at my feet and skipped off to join his brother. My mouth may as well have been a cave, hanging wide open.

"Etty?" Kurt waved a hand in front of my face, snapping me back to reality.

"Dude," I looked at him seriously, "Ethan totally knows."

The grin dropped from his face and for a rare time in my life, Kurt swore.

"Shit."

* * *

Dun dun duuuuuuunnn!

Ok judge me I have a thing for the Tweedles..

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter! This distracted me from the impending doom of my assignments. Please review and tell me what you think!


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